For me, a homebody, the most testing point of every journey is making the plan and then stepping out of the front door. It is like going to the gym for the first time, with your wiggling muffin top and watching all those people with washboard abs just cranking those machines– the cluelessness. The fear of the unknown, the uncertainty of travelling the world is a beautiful challenge just like going to the gym, which once surmounted makes you feel like Chris Hemsworth, or at least maybe on the inside. I will continue going to the gym.

This time I wanted to go to the Philippines. Most of my friends just skydive into their vacation but I had to know exactly where I wanted to go and why. So like most, I went to the web but found contradicting information. Some travellers went through the country like a hurricane; others were more ‘luxurious’ than I could afford. I wish I had more time, for two weeks is definitely a very small period to visit the wonder that is the Philippines. I was able to figure a few things out that helped me dissect a month-long vacation into a more manageable two-week vacation with twice the fun.

Where am I going and how

Manila is the capital of the Philippines. For the most part, travel blogs and seasoned tourists wanted me to pass over Manila, consistently. I found that Manila is not as pretty as the other parts of the country and it is only logical to avoid places that are not top-notch because I was time constrained. However, that does not mean we should abandon Manila completely. I found that coming to Manila and then taking a domestic flight to Cebu was a lot cheaper. Cebu is the absolute heart of the Philippines tourism industry. There are direct flights to the city but they are more expensive than those coming to Manila. Even after taking a domestic flight to Cebu from Manila, the total difference can be somewhere near £100 to £150.

Cebu is the centre of my universe

For the next two weeks, I considered Cebu as my new home. There were itinerary plans on the internet that had raving reviews, but they all wanted me to hurl through the country like a cyclone. NO. I can’t do that. This is a vacation, not a competition. I am going to take my time and not pass out on the beach from exhaustion. So, as mentioned above, Cebu became my new centre of origin; I went to places in the Philippines but always came back here. The great thing about Cebu is that it lies right at the centre of the most visited tourist attractions in the Philippines and the city itself is gorgeous. It was the first city that was colonized by the Spanish, and everywhere you see, there are grand colonial style cathedrals and forts. Since I had only 2 weeks, I stuck to the “Hallelujah” islands of the Philippines, out of the 7000 thousand. I planned to go to Palawan and the lush green core of the country: the Islands of Bohol and Cebu.

Day 1: the flight to the Philippines

Adding stopovers to my flights increased the stress, I admit, but it was not all that bad. I don’t like jet lag, so breaking up a flight into smaller chunks gave me a little more time to sleep during the travel and I did not get completely dehydrated by the air inside the aeroplane cabin. I landed at Manila at 2:30 PM, Philippines Time, using an Air China flight with just a 3-hour stopover at Beijing. I waited for another 2 hours for my flight to Cebu at Manila, using Philippines Airlines and the flight duration was just 1 hour. All in all, it took me a whole day, as expected, to reach the city and I saved £124 by not getting a direct flight to Cebu. What can I say, I am not a princess and I was on a budget. Travel is always stressful; in any case, everyone always crashes on their hotel beds in the end. I stayed at Maayo Hotel and the customer service was great. I snoozed on the bed without checking how crisp the bed sheets were. At that point, I did not care.

Day 2: Good Morning Sunshine

I haven’t had a more beautiful morning.

Thanks to the sleep I had on the way, I was already getting used to the new time zone. Jet lag has no cure but I was getting there. I opened my eyes to the azure of the sea. The breeze, like the bed sheets as I later found out, was clean and fresh. I had breakfast and headed out towards the oceanfront. The white sand on the beach was finer than I had ever seen, almost like wet cotton. My feet felt great as the waves lapped my toes. There were tourists everywhere in the city and I met a couple of Germans and Canadians as I visited the Fort Sandro, the Magellan’s Cross and the Basilica Minore del Santo Nino. I had to do these touristy things. I was still slightly buzzing with the jet lag and I wanted to look around and feel the vibe of the city.

Day 3 -5: Bohol

Tagbilaran is a port city on the Island of Bohol. From Cebu, you can get a boat to the city, which probably toggles between the two ports a dozen times a day. The ferry cost me 50 PHP to get across.  I took a two-hour drive from the port to Nuts Huts through the forest. The reservations to these Nuts Huts “shacks” are hard to get because so many want to get that original jungle experience. I loved that jungle air smell; the ocean breeze, mixed with the slight hint of the decaying leaves and the woody aroma of the tree barks was calming. The tour guide took us through the bat caves up the hills and we trekked through these caverns that the rainwater had carved out a centimetre at a time.

On the second day in Bohol, I visited the Tarsier Sanctuary. These are the cutest tiniest little attractions that stick to the tree branches and are extremely shy. You can look at them from afar. However, the tour guide took out a fat grasshopper from his pocket and held it out in his hand. I could see the perplexity of the tarsier, as he looked at the juicy grasshopper and then looked at the giants that were holding the insect. Without a warning, the creature leapt into the air, on to the arm of the guide, pried his fingers open and jumped back into the crevices of the tree. It was amazing.

Later I went to the chocolate hills of Bohol. I got to admit, I was marginally impressed. The chocolate hills are beautiful, no doubt. They are all of the same sizes and are by the thousands. They have no trees, only grass grows on top and in the dry season the grass turns brown, making them look like chocolate mounds. Yes, it was a great experience, but after a while, you begin to turn around and ask the guide where we are going next.

Day 6 -7: The Sharks and the Falls

I left Bohol early in the morning and came back to the hotel in Cebu and had a quick brunch. I took a taxi to the town of Oslob which is on the southern end of the island. I had a great calming time in Bohol but did not want to ruin my state of mind by getting into a cramped up bus. This is why I opted for the taxi even though it was a bit expensive. Off the coast of Oslob is the Sumilon Island. There were guided tours offered at the island for tourists who want to swim with the sharks. I am a good swimmer; also the tire of blubber around my waist keeps me afloat. I swam down and a group of tourist were already there swimming with the sharks. Unlike the Great White Sharks, the Spotted Whale Sharks are docile creatures. I loved the sleekness of the animal and the grace with which it moved. I was told not to feed or touch the sharks. Every inch of me just wanted to divorce the land world and become one with my new marine friends. Alas, my body does not have gills, just two lungs. It was nice harmonizing with the sharks and it was an unforgettable experience.

I always tried to eat at the hotel that I was staying at. I wanted to remain in perfect health throughout the trip so I tried not to eat from the street stalls. But every time I broke that rule, I was astonished by the flavour and taste of the food that was dished out. At a street restaurant, a bowl of soup with a giant floating green chilli was offered to me.  It raised red flags in every part of my brain. I fell in love with it as soon as I took the first reluctant slurp. The Filipino cuisine is tasty, enough said. I came to understand that halfway into my vacation and just kept some stomach pills with me, just in case. I was putting everything in my mouth that I saw other Filipinos eating.

The next day, the tour guide picked me again from the hotel and I went to the Kawasan Falls. The trip was only 2 hours long by road. I arrived to see this miraculous waterfall, straight out of a BBC documentary that gushed into a heavenly cerulean pool. The waterfall was hugged by a greenery of all sorts. I heard that on the weekends the pool is filled to the brim with people. Had I been late by a day, my experience would not have been as exciting. The pool of the waterfall is deep enough for you to jump into from the height of the waterfall. Kawasan Fall has its way of bringing out your true self.

Day 8: Travelling to Palawan

By then I had a great experience in the places around Cebu city. It was time to go further away from Cebu to search for more amazing experiences. The other destination the Philippines are known for is El Nido on Palawan Island. I chose an early morning flight to Port Princessa, Palawan via Manila. Upon arriving at the airport, I took a van to El Nido. It was a 6 hours ride, which was a bit tiring and it cost me 500 PHP. I had chosen the Spin Designer Hotel to crash for the evening.

Day 9: Relax and Unwind

With my vacation coming to an end, I wanted to go out more and party. The Reggae Bar on the northern corner of the city is a great place to make friends and share experiences. There are a lot of foreign tourists that gather there and among the few great things about travelling to distant lands are meeting amazing people with great histories and talents. The beer tasted sweeter in the company of new friends from all corners of the world. The sunset on the beach is the most amazing sunset, I ever saw. The yellows and the purples that disperse in the sky as the sun drowns into the horizon are melancholic and stunning at the same time. One needs to soak all that in to call a trip, a vacation.

Day 10 to 12: The Paradise of the Pirates

There are many companies in El Nido that provide the tourist with a new type of excursion. I am not a millennial, so I do not know these new concepts, but I got to discover ‘Island Hopping’. The Philippines has 7000 islands, each with its own character and charm. The guides take you from Island to Island on boats and you get to enjoy the raw beauty of these virgin islands. There are tours plans that are marked A, B and C. The web searches said that plan B was not as good as the rest; I, on the other hand, enjoyed all of them to the fullest.

Island Hopping is like an adventure. Sometimes you come across a small blue lagoon and the guides ask you to take a swim and look into a small cave all the way to the other side. I swear I felt like a pirate searching for lost gold. It was liberating. The crystal waters and the marine life that you come across as you snorkel were mind-blowing. The food was amazing and there were fruits and barbequed fish, crabs and shrimps of every kind. Corals and seashells of all kinds washed ashore as I played beach volleyball with a clan of new mates under the Filipino sun. Best of all, all three tours cost you less than £25 each.

Day 13: Contemplation

I went back to Port Princessa hotel and had a relaxing massage, which cost about £7 each, so I had another one later in the day. I planned to go scuba diving this day but instead spent a long time in my bed with a giddy smile on my face. I had achieved something during this vacation. I was happy and after a long time, I had felt the heart of the ocean and the beat of the waves. I had spent time harmonizing with the jungle and had looked for gold in a cave like a pirate. I wanted it all to be absorbed it into my soul.

Day 14: Saying Goodbyes

If you think saying goodbyes are hard, try saying it to a country that gave you so much in just 2 weeks. The people are hospitable and the staff of the hotels is very cordial. Most of all I thanked the spirit of the country. I am a tough man, but even I held on to a seashell, said a prayer, thanked the heart of the ocean and threw it back into the sea.