Behavioural Diagnostics- an Air Traveller’s Code of Conduct

Whatever the eye catches, the mind registers it. A disturbing flight is more often than not the birthplace of countless cynics whose airborne experiences, once they are compromised either by their own behaviour or that of those around them, initiate a chain reaction of ill feelings and destructive criticism.

If your outlook is made up of those hot and spicy ingredients which, though might have gladly be channelled in a boxing ring but not on an economy flight, then these etiquettes may promise to dilute some of your flight frustration- which you take out on others. Our own flying experiences coupled with the best expert opinions out there guarantee your trip to be a win-win enterprise.

Lavatory- Use it but don’t abuse it

Of course we hardly practise what we preach- this being precisely the reason we remain at odds with others and even ourselves for that matter. Disobeying that unspoken rule of neither taking a lot of time nor making a mess in the lavatory, repeating those terrible manners so odious to other passengers, you are surely wrecking the dream trips of many travellers. Knowing where the door is doesn’t mean you’ll be jumping off your seat and heading for it all the time. Be patient, play your part and hope for the best from others. You wouldn’t want to be quarantined, would you? Just kidding…

Keep your kids in check

Common enough and comic enough as well, our radars often catch distress signals coming from that one poor person who’s bullied by a gang of kids bent upon making a boxing bag out of him. The flight experience is incredibly exciting so long as our seatbelts hold us tight, but not so much after that. Parents often beg to be excused arguing that their hands are already so much full with their troubles to pay any heed to your appeal, which only encourages those toddlers to carry on their assaults with maximum momentum.

Mind it, parents! No one else but you is accountable for the behaviour of your children and in case you’re not minding your duties, a complaint can be made to the authorities on board. As for the victim, endurance here is synonymous with indecisiveness. If you hate being put upon, make a complaint to the staff. Don’t bother to correct the children yourself though.

Some reasons to put on a good odour

It’s easy to cruise to the extremity of the Milky Way, sipping on to the citrusy goodness of that orange juice and inhaling the sweet aroma that your neighbour’s wearing- not so potent, not so faint. Organically connecting you on friendly terms with not only the other person but the whole flight experience, you cannot tell what a quality perfume can do for you. However the journey could turn into a difficult stretch if you yourself or the one sitting next to you is without deodorant or having too much of it. Remember the old saying “excess of everything is bad”. Score your second victory by wearing polite scents, pleasant colognes and stay fault-proof.

Your snooze says a lot about you

An airborne journey could be, rather ought to be, a lesson in manners and courtesy. “Care to look before reclining that seat of yours?”  You’ll surely be asked this question if you’re not careful and conscious about it beforehand. With legroom shrinking in the ‘cattle class’, it’s not a smart idea to test the elasticity limit of your neighbour’s patience, whose liberty you are about to terminate; improvise instead.

Use the front camera of your Smartphone as a rearview mirror if asking directly is too much for you. A neck support pillow is a must when packing up for a flight gear that prevents your face from expressing the fatigues of a sore flight. Your neighbour’s shoulder or lap is not a substitute for that. Watch for it!

Follow the Procedure

Quite an exothermic scene goes on when a group or individual, insulated to the manners and fashions of quality air travel, ends up barking up the wrong tree. Let me tell you fellow travellers, those guys are BAD NEWS; catalysts to flight delays. And if you happen to be one of them, here’s why that course of action is inappropriate and an absolute failure.

The flight attendants and air hostesses are not the ones making the rules and regulations, and quarrelling with them will only aggravate matters. Countless people have tried and failed and you’ll only finish off making yourself a nuisance for others. So don’t take that tone with the attendants, please.

Beware the Hedgehog’s dilemma

Not everyone likes to be your bosom buddy while on a flight and yet there’s an awareness of felt necessary to have as much acquaintance with one another so as to get on with the journey in a peaceful, agreeable and interactive manner. It’s a long flight so a chat is supposed to be a part of it. The immediate advantage of this would be mutual satisfaction and the ease of the company with which a long journey becomes bearable.

But don’t get too carried away with the questions or take that joke too far for otherwise, you might be giving apprehensions of a Trojan horse at work. Strictly avoid being nosy and picky, especially with so much terrorism nowadays, it’s your best bet to not trust anyone completely but keep your suspicions to yourself. No need to criticise anyone on the basis of religion, sect or lingual reasons; live and let live.

No fooling around please

Some folks really take it the other way when the announcement gives them permission to undo their seatbelts and divert themselves with agreeable activities. Crowding the hallway and taking the pleasures of a familiar downtown street on a Sunday afternoon, they HAVE to be reminded again and again that they are blocking the path to those who are actually in need of some moving around. De jure, it’s an aeroplane corridor; de facto, a subway queue. Your expression of gratitude and respect will be likewise reciprocated by the staff members; what goes around comes around.